Beach here I come!

Beach time.... oh yes! I can not wait.
Ok, what do I need?
Sheets, pillow, clothes, shoes, personal items.
Address of retreat center (that would be good right?)
Friends to come along (all 80 of them).
Fitbit and charger.
Tablet and charger.
Phone charger.
What else?
Oh of course, You! I have to take God along.
It wouldn't be good to leave Him at home now would it?
I need God along for the ultimate experience.
I can't wait.


Why am I going to the beach in October? An amazing retreat that I get to spend time with people from church and get to know them better. So that being said I am not going to be posting again until after the 5th.

I found something awesome on Facebook that I want to share and then I'm calling it a night.

God says...
...I am His masterpiece (Eph 2:10)
...I am His Workmanship (Eph 2:10)
...I am established (2 Cor 1:21)
...I am sealed with His promise (John 6:27)
...I am redeemed (Col 1:14)

YOU ARE LOVED! YOU ARE AWESOME! YOU ARE CHOSEN! YOU ARE CALLED!

Goals and other thoughts

Goals are great. Goals are not so great.

They are great when you reach the goals you've set. They aren't so great when you don't.

I have told you all that I am using the Fitbit Flex to lose weight.
My goals for October is quite simply to do the below:
To workout 4 days a week.
Lose weight of course but really to be able to get into a pair of jeans that are currently rather snug without having to "suck it in".
Walk a track at least 3 days a week.

How am I going to do this? I am going to stick to my program. No, it's not a strict program where if I don't reach my goal then I will punish myself somehow. It is just a program that if I lose some then I celebrate that loss. If I gain some then I do better next time. I am not using this to put myself down. Notice how I worded my goals. So many others in that group put a number of pounds out there that they want to lose. That's great. That's awesome. I've done that to myself so many times in the past and then instead of losing the weight I gained that much of even more. I can't do that. I hate doing that to myself. So what am I doing? Well let me tell you what I've done this far.

One of the reasons that I love the fitbit is because it allows me to see how many calories that I've burned as opposed to how many I've consumed and if I've consumed enough calories. That balance is important because if you don't replace what you've burned or don't burn enough you can cause harm to your body.

So like for today, so far I've consumed 1176 calories and burned 1837 calories.  I am under budget for my calorie intake. This can be both a good thing and a bad thing. It's great if that's all I've eaten and was full. It's bad if that's all I've eaten and am still hungry. I've also walked a lot. The FitBit itself shows me how much of my goal I've met. Each light represents about 20% of my steps goal. So my daily steps goal is 10,000.

Take a look at the pictures below and see for yourself. Now of course these won't be accurate for very long today but you'll get the picture.

Dashboard:

 The Dashboard shows how many pounds I've set my weight goal for. What I like is that it isn't set by a date but by how much you want to lose, so I want to lose 11 pounds. Once I lose those then I will celebrate. The next picture (going from left to right) is the amount of calories that I've burned. The picture that has a fork and knife in a circle is how many calories I have left to consume for the day. The picture that has the word under on it is the gauge to tell you if you've burned or consumed the right number of calories. (See I'm under "goal".) The next is my water intake for the day. I'll have consumed over 64 ounces by the time I go to bed tonight. The picture below those two is my activity graph for the day. You can tell when I walked can't you? The next two are my number of miles walked and my number of steps taken. I like both of those numbers as my left knee is hurting some today. I'll still walk more though later to try to get closer to my 10,000 step goal. The other picture, the long one on the right side with the 6 dots that look like pictures are my friends in the community. They are there for encouragement and to keep me focused on my goal.

FitBit Flex Reading:

See what I mean by lights lighting up as you reach part of your goal? There are three lights lit up, so I've met 47% of my goal. The faster the last light blinks the closer you are to getting the next light to light up.

Anyway, Hope this helps someone.

YOU ARE LOVED! YOU ARE AWESOME! YOU ARE A MASTERPIECE!

"You've really changed!" "You look so much better."

That feeling upon hearing those words is amazing! I love hearing those words. I can not believe how much of a difference two days can make.

So I made a difficult decision Tuesday. It was one I had to make for the sake of my health, both mental and physical.

I ran into a former co-worker this morning. She said that I looked better. I feel better. I'm not wanting to sleep all the time. I am not wanting to hurry through my day. When I brushed my hair this morning, I pulled out hair but not near as much as I have been. I feel as if a huge weight has been lifted. While I hate that my leaving that job added to the stress and work to others I had to get out before I had something serious happen to myself.

I love my friends and family! My birthday is coming up and I am actually having to plan who to spend what day with this year. So Friday, I'm going out with my "boyfriend". Saturday, I'm spending with two dear friends that have been supportive through out a lot of trials that my family has gone through. Sunday, I'll start the day off with my parents and daughter, go to church and spend time with friends and my Forever family there. Then Sunday evening, come home to spend time with my parents, daughter and maybe even my "boyfriend." It's going to be a great weekend.

I have a friend that I didn't really get to know all that well before she moved away. She however sent me a Scripture reference over Facebook the other day. I had to look it up and find out what it said.

"Yes, my soul, find rest in God; my hope comes from him. Truly he is my rock and my salvation; he is my fortress, I will not be shaken. My salvation and my honor depend on God; he is my mighty rock, my refuge. Trust in him at all times, you people; pour out your hearts to him, for God is our refuge." Psalm 62:5-8 (NIV)

This is what I have been trying to do for the past several days. Just rest in God and find His peace. I know that everything happens for a reason. God put me into that job to show His love. God will put me somewhere again to do the same. I can't wait to see what his big picture is.

Now, for my physical health, I am still working on that. I love my Fitbit Flex! It's great to know how many calories that I've burned and how many calories that I've eaten. That alone has helped me figure out what I've been doing wrong all these years.

I'll leave you here. Please remember to take time to rest in God. It's taken me too long to learn that I have to do that. Please learn from my stubbornness of trying to do it all myself and let God lead you.

YOU ARE LOVED. YOU ARE WORTHY OF LOVE. YOU ARE AWESOME!


P.S. I have lost 5 more pounds! So Excited!

Apology...and more

I am really sorry. I am so sorry. I can't believe I let things go as far as they did. I just can't believe it. I absolutely can not believe I let Satan use the copy of that tape that he must have hidden some where. I am so sorry.

Ok! Now that that's over with, I can move on. I don't know how many people actually read this. The number of people doesn't really matter, it's that whoever does read this gets something out of it.

My life is a busy one. I basically work three jobs. One is full time, and the other two are "part-time." I don't always love my jobs but I enjoy them for the most part. I'm looking forward to one of them to see how many steps I can take while doing that job. I think it is comical that I am now trying to figure out how to take the most steps that I can in a day.

Today I made it to the 1/2 way mark of 5,000 steps! I am so happy! Now if only I can do that during a normal work day.

Oh well, I guess I'll have to work on that.

God Bless!

Therefore if you have any encouragement from being united with Christ, if any comfort from his love, if any common sharing in the Spirit, if any tenderness and compassion, then make my joy complete by being like-minded, having the same love, being one in spirit and of one mind. Do nothing out of selfish ambition or vain conceit. Rather, in humility value others above yourselves, not looking to your own interests but each of you to the interests of the others.
Philippians 2:1-4

Time for Me, Time for You

What do you  make time for during your day? Do you make time for yourself? Something small even. My mom's is knitting. Mine is this blog or reading (or both). Others might not make the time for themselves like they should. Yes, even the guys need to make time for themselves. I know it's tough to get away from the family chaos and spend even 5 minutes on you but you have to do that in order for the time you spend on others and really be there. I've known this for a long time but am now beginning to see the good in taking even just 5 minutes on myself. I drive 45 minutes one way to work. What am I doing for those 45 minutes for myself? What can I do, I mean I'm driving right? I'm going 70 down I-12, what can I do for myself in that time frame? I usually have the radio on to K-Love and am singing along or mentally preparing for my day at work, or praying for the traffic to be light and for whatever else I feel the need to pray for.
Honestly, I used to look forward that time but now it's a hectic time for me. I need to refocus. I need to spend time on me so I can spend time on "you."
Even Christ took time by Himself and had His Disciples do the same. After Jesus fed the 5000, he went off by himself. The Disciples were crossing the lake for some time by themselves, however that was not to be. We have to be intentional in getting time for ourselves. Even if it is just 5 minutes a day!
Here is what God says to you:
Jeremiah 31:3
The Lord appeared to us in the past, saying: " I have loved you with an everlasting love; I have drawn you with unfailing kindness."

1 John 3:1
See what great love the Father has lavished on us, that we should be called children of God! And that is what we are! The reason the world does not know us is that it did not know Him.

John 15:9
As the Father has loved me, so I have loved you. Now remain in my love.

Ok. So here's what happens...

I let Satan get a hold of me a lot over the past several weeks. So much so that I have felt overwhelmed at times when there was really nothing to overwhelm me. Case in point, my parents and I are homeschooling my soon-to-be 15 yr old daughter. She's doing really well as far as her grades are concerned. However, she is not doing so well at focusing like my mom and I would like. So what do I do? As I sit here typing this blog entry while my daughter is steadily asking questions about things on her test, with each question I reach up and rub my hands over my face. I feel as if I am unable to handle her questions and all the other little noises of life in my house. I have not felt like this is a long time and it bothers me. It's times like this when I go and listen to tons of Christian music (which I didn't do to much of today).
I hate feeling like this! So, what I'm doing about that?
Or rather what I'm not doing...
I'm not sitting around eating my weight in sweets. I'm not going and buying sweets.
I am going to exercise. I am going to get a good nights sleep. I am going to love myself.
My daughter is learning a couple of verses from Romans 8.

 

"And we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love him, who have been called according to his purpose."

And

"What, then, shall we say in response to these things? If God is for us, who can be against us?"

 

These will be my mottos for the forseeable future.

 

 

Day one...well not exactly day one...of my journey

Here goes something. I almost feel like I should be saying, "Hi. My name is Janel, and I'm a foodaholic." However that is not what I am. I am an imperfect person, someone who screws up big and often. I have done almost everything that falls within the legal boundaries. However, even more than that I am a child of God. The Creator knit me together and made me who I am. He doesn't say "Oops, there's a big loser." Instead He says that I am wonderful, amazing and most importantly His.
Now, I have not always felt this way. Not by a long shot! There were days when I would have much rather died than get up and go to work, much less go walk, swim, or do any kind of exercise. There are days when I still feel that way.
Why you may ask? Why do you feel this way? How does Satan grab a hold of me and trick me into feeling like this? Well, that easier is both easier and harder to answer than you might think.
I have always been "big, and I mean overweight big. I don't remember ever being under 180. Ok. I get it. Some if not most of you are thinking that's not big. I'm talking I was not a teenager when I was that big. By the time I was a teenager I was over 200. I have recently gotten up to 320. I think that at times Satan cranks up the stereo that plays in my head to deafening levels and I don't bother to go turn it down the way I would my daughter's music.
Why do I not do that? I'm used to hearing what that tape plays.
"You're not worth it. You don't deserve to be loved. You will never lose weight again." I typically listen to that until I've been kicked in the rear enough that I go and turn it off. However, Satan slips back in and turns it back on. Well, I have unplugged that stereo, burned that tape, and am praying that Satan doesn't have a backup copy.
You see, you tell someone something for long enough and they believe it. I have a manager who is supportive and that is awesome! I have a guy friend, who I have just recently become friends with, who builds me up.
You place yourself around others who will build you up and good things....no great things will happen.
God has a plan for each of us and I can't wait to see what His plan is for me from here. However, I do have to make some changes to make sure that I am around for that plan to come to fruition.
I have only recently begun using the FitBit Flex. I think it's helping me more than anything else I've tried. To prove that point, I have lost a total of 12 pounds since I went to the Dr and was told I weighed 320 pounds. By the way, that's the heaviest I've ever been! It's scary. I felt depressed and Satan cranked that stereo back up. Well, enough was enough and that was when I unplugged that stereo and burned that tape.  I'm working on a new tape to play for myself. One that tells me that I am worth it. I am loveable and worthy of love. I will lose the weight and keep it off.

My friends, do not let Satan control that stereo of yours! You get to decide what gets played on it and what doesn't. Make it a tape full of things that build you up.
Let me be the first voice.
YOU ARE WORTH IT! YOU ARE WORTHY OF LOVE! YOU ARE LOVED!